just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
