The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
