I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Life is so much better after having sex.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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