It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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