i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
