He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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