So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
barbara walters just said penis...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
