Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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