so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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