It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
