so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How does it feel to date your dad?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
