nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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