Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
