FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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