He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
