I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
