I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
