That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
