all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
