i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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