Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
