She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
