Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
