My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
