you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
