I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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