I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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