She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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