Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
