i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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