Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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