now i know why i became what i already was.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
