They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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