try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
