so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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