i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need a beard to bite.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
