I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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