oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
someone owes me an orgasm
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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