last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
