singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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