It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
