I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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