I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
