Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
