she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
40s are totally the cure
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
