i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
