Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
