Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
