Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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