Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
