I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
