Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
