please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
