im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
