the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
