Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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