Sry I called you an 8
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
zippers are such a cool invention
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
